Making Dilemmanade
Lyla J. Koch
Mrs. Ross
English V
November 14, 1997
Making Dilemmanade
Someone once said: "When life hands you a dilemma...make dilemmanade." In "A Domestic Dilemma" by Carson McCullers, Martin Meadows does just that when faced with his wife's alcoholism. The illness of alcoholism can test complex human relationships such as marriage causing change in the actions and emotions of the alcoholic and forcing their spouse to change. As stated in The Oxford Companion to Women's Writing, McCullers is especially knowledgeable in the changes and emotions the spouse of an alcoholic must face because of her "emotionally complicated relationship with the alcoholic Reeve McCullers, her husband of sixteen years." (Davidson 555) Upon accepting his wife's problem Martin exhibits qualities normally ascribed to women: intuition, gentleness and patience, and unselfish love as he takes her place in the home.
Upon arriving home Martin's intuition begins when he tries to convince his wife to stay upstairs so their children are not exposed to her drunken behavior. However, when Emily, his wife, stumbles into the kitchen and verbally attacks him, frightening the children Martin's intuition knows exactly what he must do:
"Martin took the children to the foot of the stairs. "Andy, you take up Marianne and Daddy will follow you in a minute." "But, Mama?" the child asked whispering. "Mama will be all right. Don't worry." Emily was sobbing at the kitchen table, her face buried in the crook of her arm. Martin poured a cup of soup and set it before her...."Sit up and drink the soup."...The touch of Martin's hand had turned the tenor of her mood."(McCullers 267)
When Emily comes in to the kitchen yelling, swaying, and asking the children confusing questions, Martin knows he must act quickly to get the children upstairs before the scene upsets them too much. Martin then goes and makes sure his wife eats something. Most importantly Martin remains calm the throughout the whole ordeal enabling him to calm Emily much more quickly. He knows he must be gentle with her because her emotions are uncontrolled because of the alcohol. Just the simple "touch of Martin's hand," helps to dissipated her erroneous anger towards him. These actions, especially the calm suppression of Emily's anger, are intuitive because it is human nature to get caught up in yelling back. As Snipes observes "he successfully reestablishes an atmosphere of tender solicitude, hoping the children will not remember their mother's puzzling behavior. (Snipes 1541-1542)
As is depicted above Martin maintains actions of gentleness and patience towards his wife at all times. Along with this he takes over the role of nurturer to Emily and their children. It is when Martin is settling not only his children but also his wife into bed that his gentile actions and patience are most noticeable.
"He laid her [Emily's] nightgown on the bed,...Her horrified face touched him....'My child turned away from me. Andy looked at his mother and turned away.' She was caught in the rhythmic sorrow of alcohol. Martin withdrew from the room saying: 'The children will forget by tomorrow.' ...As Martin soaped the delicate boy-body of his son he felt that further love would be impossible....His daughter was already asleep. Scarcely breathing, Martin bent over and kissed her forehead, kissed again the tiny hand that lay palm-upward, flung in slumber beside her head....He left a night light in the room."(McCullers 268-269)
Once Martin has calmed Emily he escorts her to their room. He helps her get into bed and to sleep as quickly as possible by getting her nightgown and most importantly calming her fears. Even though, moments ago Emily was accusing him of 'stealing' their children, Martin put this aside and patiently tells Emily that 'the children will forget the scene she made by tomorrow.' He says this not knowing for sure if in fact they will forget, all he does know is that the sooner Emily calms down and goes to sleep the sooner she will wake up sober. Snipes puts in best when describing Martin as "a patient, kindly man whose attitude toward his alcoholic wife is a curious blend of compassion, love, and restrained exasperation." (Snipes 1541) Martin then goes to wash Andy, his son, and get Marianne and Andy to bed. Martin is very gentle when he is washing his son, who he says he loves to the fullest of his ability. He is especially gentle when tucking his sleeping baby daughter into bed. Not only does he gently kiss her twice but he holds his breath while doing so as not to disturb her peaceful slumber.
The most obvious quality in Martin which is usually ascribed to women is his unselfish love. This love towards his children is apparent simply in the way that he gives all his effort to serve as both a father and a 'motherly figure' to his children. His unselfish love for his wife is apparent when he describes how he feels when seeing her sleeping shortly after her drunken rage. For the first time that evening he looked at his wife. His eyes rested on the sweet forehead, the arch of the fine brow. The brow had descended to Marianne, and the tilt at the end of the delicate nose. In his son he could trace the high cheekbones and pointed chin....All thoughts of blame or blemish were distant from him now...By moonlight he watched his wife for the last time. His hand sought the adjacent flesh and sorrow paralleled desire in the immense complexity of love.(McCullers 270) Upon truly looking at her face Martin's dissension toward his wife is lost as his unselfish love for her takes over. As he stands in his room he lovingly describes the details of her face. Martin describes his wife's face as having certain delicate characteristics which are also present in their children. According to Daniel Hoffman this description lends itself to a common theme in McCullers' writing. He states that "McCullers gives us innocence embodied in children and occasionally in adults who carry some stigma or handicap." (Hoffman 354) This statement is true when Martin is lovingly describing both his children and his wife, who has the stigma of alcoholism. Finally, as Martin slips into bed he reaches for his wife disremembering all the strife she caused just hours ago.
Along with facing his wife's alcoholism Martin must take on his wife's position in the home which he successfully does showing many attributes usually present in women. Those being intuition, gentleness, patience, and unselfish love even toward his alcoholic wife. As is stated in Modern American Women Writers, Martin and his family are lucky because he, like many of McCullers main characters, "is bold enough to confront the terrible in human nature without loss of nerve, calm or dignity."(Torsney 285) It is through this strength in Martin that his family is able to stay intact and cope when faced with alcoholism, a problem that usually tears families apart.
Works Cited
Davidson, Cathy, and Linda Wagner-Martin, eds. The Oxford Companion to Women's Writing in the United States. New York: Oxford University Press, 1995.
Hart, Jane. Carson McCullers, Pilgrim of Loneliness. [Online] Available http://galenet.gale.com:8888/netacgi/np, Spring, 1957.
Hoffman, Daniel, ed. The Harvard Guide to Contemporary American Writing. Cambridge: Belknap Press, 1979.
McCullers, Carson. "A Domestic Dilemma." Understanding Fiction. Ed. Cleanth Brooks and Robert Penn Warren. New York: Appleton-Century-Crofts, 1959. 262-270.
Snipes, Cathrine. Critical Survey of Short Fiction. Pasadena: Salem Press, 1993.
Torsney, Cheryl B. Modern American Women Writers. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1991.
